So, yesterday I mentioned my loathing of the the "Ranch Hand Fillet" (which was a the name of a steak plate at one of the chain eateries a couple years ago). Because the fractured English of that name just gave me the creeps. Of course, as time went on, whenever I saw the ad, I found myself saying to whomever was around, "Gee, I wonder if they asked the Ranch Hand how he feels about that?"
Well, apparently I invoked the
God of Terrible Advertising and Fractured Grammar (always one to be feared) by mentioning this. I was watching TV last night after I got home, and saw a ad for one of the chain steak houses... I think it was LoneStar, but it might have been one of the others. Anyways, get what they've come up with now? The Renegade Steak.
Yep, you read right: the
Renegade Steak.
This is the sort of thing that makes the editor in me weep. First of all, either of two ways to interpret this, takes you to mental places you don't want to go.
Interpretation #1 - it's a steak cut from a Renegade (i.e., in the same manner as one would say Beef Steak, Tuna Steak, etc. etc.). Taking that a step further, Renegade is a term that usually, historically anyway, applies to a person. (I realize it's now used on animals, sealife, germs, and all sorts of other things. And that's fine. I have not particular issue with that. But the point is, first thing you think of is a human.) So, in the fine tradition of the Ranch Hand Fillet, we're back to cannibalism again.
Interpretation #2 - the steak itself
is a Renegade. Or, the steak has gone Renegade. Frankly, I don't want to my food attributed with human characteristics, thank you very much. Further more, what exactly does a steak do, once it goes Renegade? Does it hunt down and torment vegetarians? Does it go vigilante on cattle ranchers and attempt to murder them with their own branding irons? Does it buy itself a few acres somewhere and set up a chicken farm? Does it head off to Hollywood to star in a B movie called "Attack of the Killer Steak"?
I swear to christ, proof I went into the wrong business. The easy money, where accuracy really makes little difference, in advertising or meteorology. (Afterall, how often do the weather forecasting types on the news screw up, and yet they're still employed!)